The Real Fake News - 11th Hour

By Cliff Lake

 

The Real Fake News – 11th Hour

 

President Trump today attended a brief news conference where his hand again showed evidence of bruising. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt explained away the markings as a result of a “very energetic and athletic coin toss at the Army-Navy football game” before challenging several reporters to do the same, most of whom declined citing having to rectify disorganized sock drawers or issues with cuticle retention.

 

Lauren Boebert is launching her long-awaited “Humping Legs for Freedom” initiative beginning Monday, 12/15/2025. Interested parties may pose with the Congressional representative in holiday-themed overtly sexual poses for cash or crypto.

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene is expected to announce that she has always been “a goddam lib” in a bid for a Georgia senate seat.

 

President Trump joined several Christmas parties throughout the past week. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt noted that the president engaged in “energetic and vigorous hand-waving” that she claimed was responsible for bruising of the president’s hand.

 

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson this week succeeded in rallying House Republicans to blame Joe Biden for “doing nothing to prevent this horrible tragedy.” No one could be reached for comment. President Trump is expected to make similar remarks following something terrible happening at a later date.

 

President Trump was seen earlier this week sporting a large cowboy hat that Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt noted had been “energetically and firmly donned by the president, causing some bruising to the hand.”

 

Fox and Friends, the morning show on Fox News, is planning a series of “How-to” shows during the holiday season. First up: “How to Make Tomato Soup from McDonald’s Ketchup Packets in This Booming Economy!” Other plans include segments on sorting pennies for wrapping, how many times a tea bag can be re-used, and which furniture burns most festively when the power is shut off.

 

President Trump is said to be mulling plans for “an old-fashioned Christmas bonfire” to be held on the National Plaza. The president has suggested using “files and photos that could be a Democrat hoax.” to start the blaze. Several Republican congressmen have indicated they are planning to also bring “Books. Lots and lots of books.”

 

Pete Hegseth, US Secretary of War today announced he will be celebrating the capture of a Venezuelan oil tanker by blowing up more small craft in the coming week. “Beats spending your tax dollars on healthcare!”, said the Secretary.

 

President Trump this morning was seen extracting his hand from his pants pocket. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt commented that the motion was “energetic and manly to the point of causing bruising to the back of the hand.” The president is expected to make a full recovery until the next time.

 

Cliff Lake 12/14/2025

Copyright © Clifford Lake 2025

Location: Washington, DC, USA

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