A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

By Cliff Lake

 

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 

Dear U.S. citizens,

Your residency retention tax is due.

Payment must be immediate.

Cryptocurrency is preferred for tax purposes,

And may be eligible for a discounted rate,

If and when we feel like it.

 

Please see attached Dermahue™ chart for your rate.

Remember: tanning is no excuse!

 

This administration would once again like to congratulate

Last month’s winners of the Produce Lottery –

It is understood that the tomatoes

Weren’t as overripe as in the previous drawings.

Congratulations!

 

Be advised that the Produce Lottery

Is suspended

Until such time as

The labor camps are restocked

With fresh “voluntary” homeless,

And the remaining political agitators.

 

Citizens,

The rumors of a deadly strain of measles

Continue to be false!

The cities of Houston, Dallas, New Orleans,

Detroit, Chicago, and Boston are fine!

All should be back online shortly,

And as vigorous and SAFE as ever!

 

Remember,

If you believe that you have seen a measles death,

Report immediately to

The nearest labor camp.

 

Thanksgiving will remain on hold until

We get New York City back from the Canadians.

Negotiations are ongoing

And we expect the native New Yorkers

To stop voting Canada

And accept the shipment of Teslas

As soon as next week.

 

We know there is no need to remind our citizens

That the elections are ten days away,

And that we may allow a second party

To vote for us as well.

Congratulations on our upcoming victory!

 

Unfortunately,

No administration personnel

Have scheduled public appearances,

And will not do so

Until the working class

Stops attacking.

 

GOD BLESS THE USA!

GOD BLESS THE ADMINISTRATION!

 

REMAIN IN YOUR HOMES UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

 

Cliff Lake 5/18/2025

Copyright © Clifford Lake 2025

Location: Washington, DC, USA

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