Real Fake News IV: The Mockening

By Cliff Lake

 

Real Fake News IV: The Mockening

 

House Republicans are reportedly searching the Biblical Book of Revelations for “Any references to Hunter Biden or maybe Pelosi.” Representative Gaetz told reporters, “We thought maybe she was the Whore of Babylon, but she’s married so I guess not.” Marjorie Taylor Greene wouldn’t answer questions.

 

Marsha Blackburn, one of more than 30 Senate Republicans to demand that David Weiss be assigned as Special Counsel now says it never should have happened. Said Blackburn, "I see now that back then I didn't know a damn thing and I still don't. That's my level of commitment!"

Marjorie Taylor Greene wouldn’t answer any questions.

 

RFK Jr. wants his own indictment after falling out of the news cycle. "In some ways I’m a bigger POS because I'm a Kennedy and I'm a complete idiot, and if I have to break a law to get elected, then I'll park in every handicapped spot and jaywalk constantly until I’m taken seriously."

 

Donald John Trump has promised to release a report exonerating him from all charges in Georgia. He has since retracted that statement saying it’s better to wait until a slow news day. He has also promised to release his long-awaited health care plan, release all of the prisoners in Guantanamo, release a virus to wipe out China, release some gas, release a new never-before-heard Allman Brothers album and to release the recipe for the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices.

 

In a surprise move, House Republicans have proposed a bill to rename the White House to the Holy Holy Palace because in an anonymous statement by Kevin McCarthy and a very loud, blonde moon-faced Representative not named Greene , “We feel like we want to make any President named Donald Trump President King or King President, or just King. Something along those lines.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene did not answer any questions.

 

Tucker Carlson is reportedly scared to death that any number of conspiracy theories want to kill Donald John Trump. “Everyone knows what conspiracy theories have done to this country. I mean I’m a goddam expert on them. No one knows more conspiracy theories than I do. I saw one on 4Chan just yesterday that looked like it could just jump right out of the screen and wrestle a man to the ground! Conspiracy theories are dangerous, man, and I think President Trump should get as far away from them as possible, unless it’s one of mine.”

 

Governor Ron DeSantis wants to raid Mexico for fentanyl according to a several statements he has made. “Everyone knows that’s where the fentanyl is and if we’re going to find it, that’s where it will be. In Mexico. Where the fentanyl is, and that’s where we’ll find it. Because Mexico is south of us. On our southern border. And it’s fentanyl territory, everyone knows that. So… Mexico, yeah. And fentanyl.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene would not answer any questions.

 

Cliff Lake 8/26/2023

Copyright © Clifford Lake 2023


Location: Washington, DC, USA

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