Real Fake News IV: The Mockening
Real Fake
News IV: The Mockening
House Republicans are reportedly searching the Biblical Book
of Revelations for “Any references to Hunter Biden or maybe Pelosi.”
Representative Gaetz told reporters, “We thought maybe she was the Whore of Babylon,
but she’s married so I guess not.” Marjorie Taylor Greene wouldn’t answer
questions.
Marsha Blackburn, one of more than 30 Senate Republicans to
demand that David Weiss be assigned as Special Counsel now says it never should
have happened. Said Blackburn, "I see now that back then I didn't know a
damn thing and I still don't. That's my level of commitment!"
Marjorie Taylor Greene wouldn’t answer any questions.
RFK Jr. wants his own indictment after falling out of the
news cycle. "In some ways I’m a bigger POS because I'm a Kennedy and I'm a
complete idiot, and if I have to break a law to get elected, then I'll park in
every handicapped spot and jaywalk constantly until I’m taken seriously."
Donald John Trump has promised to release a report
exonerating him from all charges in Georgia. He has since retracted that
statement saying it’s better to wait until a slow news day. He has also
promised to release his long-awaited health care plan, release all of the
prisoners in Guantanamo, release a virus to wipe out China, release some gas, release
a new never-before-heard Allman Brothers album and to release the recipe for
the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices.
In a surprise move, House Republicans have proposed a bill
to rename the White House to the Holy Holy Palace because in an anonymous
statement by Kevin McCarthy and a very loud, blonde moon-faced Representative
not named Greene , “We feel like we want to
make any President named Donald Trump President King or King President, or just
King. Something along those lines.”
Marjorie Taylor Greene did not answer any questions.
Tucker Carlson is reportedly scared to death that any number
of conspiracy theories want to kill Donald John Trump. “Everyone knows what
conspiracy theories have done to this country. I mean I’m a goddam expert on
them. No one knows more conspiracy theories than I do. I saw one on 4Chan just
yesterday that looked like it could just jump right out of the screen and
wrestle a man to the ground! Conspiracy theories are dangerous, man, and I
think President Trump should get as far away from them as possible, unless it’s
one of mine.”
Governor Ron DeSantis wants to raid Mexico for fentanyl
according to a several statements he has made. “Everyone knows that’s where the
fentanyl is and if we’re going to find it, that’s where it will be. In Mexico.
Where the fentanyl is, and that’s where we’ll find it. Because Mexico is south
of us. On our southern border. And it’s fentanyl territory, everyone knows
that. So… Mexico, yeah. And fentanyl.”
Marjorie Taylor Greene would not answer any questions.
Cliff Lake 8/26/2023
Copyright © Clifford Lake 2023
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